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Why Runner/Chaser is Necessary to Balance Twin Flame Energy

Intuitive Joy
5 min readDec 2, 2021

There’s common rhetoric in “Twin Flame” communities that says the runner/chaser dynamic is something to be avoided. Not only is it painful, it probably means you’re doing something wrong. You’re too attached to your counterpart or to the outcome. This dynamic is an indication that something is going poorly. Well, I’m here to tell you that — in my experience — it was exactly the opposite.

My Experience of Runner/Chaser

I never expected to care this much about the runner/chaser dynamic. In the past few months, I’ve been pushed into running from my divine counterpart three times. And I do mean I was pushed. As in, my spiritual team (guides, angels, etc.) told me to reach out in order to move things forward and when I did, I was hoping that my counterpart would be open to communicating and connecting.

Instead, I was rejected thrice over.

That rejection was so painful that I felt myself putting up walls, curling into myself to protect my heart from even more devastation. I couldn’t think of my counterpart, couldn’t keep faith for this journey; all I could do was cry and try to take care of myself as I tended my wounds. That was me energetically running from this connection.

After each of these moments when I was pushed into running, it was revealed to me that I was triggered purposely. I was meant to run so that the energy would shift in the other direction, so that my counterpart would stop running.

In my case, runner/chaser wasn’t a result of me being unhealed and codependent. I wasn’t chasing in the traditional sense, but my being open to the connection gave him too much room to run away. It was like, while my energy was available, while he could feel the warmth of the Divine sheltering him, he didn’t have his back up against the wall. When I closed off, he was abandoned energetically and thrown into Dark Nights of the Soul. The pressure of these ego breakdowns forced him to awaken further.

It has been truly exhausting, on my part, having to find emotional equilibrium after each time. It’s been disheartening to feel I should reach out only to be disappointed, rejected and thrown into despair. However, I know now that it was required in order to balance…

Intuitive Joy

Deep Diving into Spiritual Awakening, Astrology, and Soul Connections (Karmic Relationships, Twin Flames, Soulmates).